As I sit here on a sweltering
summer afternoon in my un-air conditioned apartment with my laptop burning
ABIHSOT into my thighs, I’m thinking about all the ways I might keep from
bursting into flames.
Now, I know that Beaverhead County’s relative lack of humidity
makes my complaint about the heat a bit of a whine-fest compared to those who
suffer through heat and 100 percent humidity. But hey, 90 degrees is still hot,
humidity or not.
So here’s my list (in no particular
order) of ways to beat the heat:
1. Float the Beaverhead River. My friend Jen does this so
often that her faithful dog requires his own tube and stays by her side while
she cruises the river.
2. Take a boat out on Clark Canyon
Dam. Beautiful vistas, cool breezes, and Clark’s (of
Lewis and Clark) buried loot make the area a dam (pardon the pun) fine respite
from the heat.
3. Visit the Bannack Saloon during
Bannack Days for a double shot (two scoops) of ice cream. Delicious and
historical.
4.
Set up the sprinklers and plastic tarps for a little slippy slide action
in the backyard. Get a good running start and slide until the grass heads down
your shorts.
5.
Hang out at buddy’s/neighbor’s/friendly stranger’s house with air
conditioning, or, in a pinch, in Safeway’s frozen entrees section.
6. Take a road trip to Bozeman
to Dave’s Sushi for a refreshing cup of cucumber salad. Beware the wasabi edamame—delicious
but able to raise your body temperature in a single mouthful.
7. Buy a plastic bag of brews at
the Demo Derby and use the remaining ice and the bag as an ice pack for your
head and neck. Extra points for making it into a hat.
8.
Create a March of the Penguins habitat and watch the DVD
in an ice-cold bath.
9.
Listen to singer Bjork from Iceland
where the high temperature in Reykjavik
this week is 55 degrees.
10. “Get your motor running [and] head
out on the highway” with the windows down and Steppenwolf on the stereo. Hang
your elbow out the car window to achieve a one-armed farmer tan.
And if all else fails, remember
that here in Montana in three
months, it’ll probably be snowing.
