In my last column, I discussed my need to get the hell out of dodge so I could shake the anger and misery of a bad school year. I’m not sure going on a cross country road trip was the way to do it. << MORE >>

The academic year is over. I have no major complaints. I’m still employed and most of my colleagues are still speaking to me. My night table is stacked with delectable goodies to read, and my TIVO is almost filled to capacity with the past year’s Masterpiece Theatres just waiting for me to submit my final grades.<< MORE >>

When we were growing up, my brother and I weren’t allowed to eat cereal with marshmallows. Every two weeks, Mom would take us to the store, hand us a stack of coupons, and tell us to find cereal that matched the coupons. Shuffling through the stack, I would always pick out Froot Loops, Trix, and Fruity Pebbles, but my brother, ever the cheapo, would make me take the cereal that had the highest dollar savings on its corresponding coupon.

As a result, boxes and boxes of Life cereal traveled through my childhood. Damn you, Mikey!<< MORE >>

This is the first year that I’m spending the holidays away from my family. As I type this, I’m watching the snow fall while listening to Sirius Radio Hanukkah.<< MORE >>

A friend once told me that the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result. According to this definition, then, I’m insane.

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This was my summer to discover Montana. This state is chock-full of geological marvels like Glacier National Park, Yellowstone National Park, and what are known to me only as “the pretty mountains one passes on the way to shop in Bozeman.” These places attract tourists from the far reaches of the world who hike, bike, and camp through Montana’s natural wonders. I am not one of these people. << MORE >>

I think I watch too many movies. In fact, I’m sure of it.<< MORE >>

I live in Montana and in the summer, I don’t fish, hunt, hike, or camp. I float. That is, I slather on some sun screen, get into an inner tube, and let the current take me down a river. << MORE >>

In May every year when my students graduate from the university, I am reminded of what didn’t happen for me when I graduated from college. << MORE >>

Just recently in Dillon we enjoyed a day I call Waving Day.<< MORE >>

I am not what you would call a romantic person. Sure, I enjoy receiving the occasional bouquet or batch of cookies from Jacek, but for the most part, I’m just happy when he shows up on time with the right movie. In return, I provide for him a comfy couch and a suitable beverage. This give and take really works for us. << MORE >>

My favorite song by the Dixie Chicks is “Wide Open Spaces.”
Here are a few lyrics:

She needs wide open spaces
Room to make her big mistakes
She needs new faces
She knows the high stakes.<< MORE >>

For the past week, I’ve been fighting a cold. I hate colds, partly because I don’t understand how it is that scientists have discovered how to make the perfect French fry (beef aroma apparently has something to do with it) but they still haven’t figured out a cure for the common cold and partly because colds are so mundane. I like what my favorite character on Gilmore Girls, Loralei, says: “Having a cold is so boring. Just once I’d like to say, ‘I’m sorry I can’t make it, but my leg is haunted.’” << MORE >>

I’m sure somewhere a file kept on me during kindergarten reads, “Does not share with others.” With shame, I remember a selfish moment of gobbling down a Three Musketeers bar after my mother told me to share it with my friends. In school, whenever we did a group project, I bossed everyone around and took over all the work so that the project would be done “right.”<< MORE >>

This month I became a chestnut, otherwise known as a first time reader for a national testing service. Although I did feel significantly nuttier by the end of the scoring session, I don’t know why they call us chestnuts.

What they should have called us was veal.<< MORE >>

I’ve been thinking a lot about money lately. Our university’s faculty are part of a union. This year, we’re renegotiating our contract, and our major appeal is for more money.

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            I recently celebrated a birthday whose arrival nearly traumatized me.

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I enjoy life’s little absurdities. In fact, I revel in them. Here are a few absurdities I’ve noted of late: —A pogo stick in a kitchen —Twinkies in a vintage cookie jar —Getting a bikini wax to AC/DC’s “Shoot to Thrill” —At the Patagonia Outlet, a box of women’s pants labeled, “Odd Bottoms” —Happy Feet, Charlotte’s Web, and Rocky Balboa advertised for the “Mommy Show” at Carmike Cinemas —A 34-year-old woman learning to ski<< MORE >>

At the end of a class, one of my colleagues said he felt like a fried weenie sandwich. As I sit here swathed in sweats, fleece, and my mommy-made knit socks, I concur, though at this point in the school term, I often refer to myself as a blockhead and feel like Charlie Brown when he puts his head against a wall and moans. At ...<< MORE >>

    Welcome to RoaringGrrl.com! From July 2005 until August 2006, I wrote a monthly (sometimes bi-monthly) column for the Dillon Tribune, the weekly newspaper of Dillon, Montana. You may find a backlog of those original columns on this site under the category, Tribune Columns.
    My tenure with the newspaper came to an end because the column's subheading, "A newcomer's view of Dillon" was no longer true. Though anyone who was born and raised in Dillon would NEVER call me a local, I am technically not a newcomer to Dillon any more.
    BUT I still have A LOT to say about living as a single, white, female academic in Dillon, Montana!
    Therefore, I decided to continue my column via a different medium with fewer restrictions on the language I might use and the subjects I might cover.
    AND you can subscribe to this blog and receive my latest column as soon as I post it! Stay tuned!
   

Bethany

P.S. The title of this website, "RoaringGrrl," is a play on the title of Thomas Dekker's 17th century drama, The Roaring Girl. The play features a woman, Moll, or the Roaring Girl, who won't be silenced by her husband, her friends, or her family. In short, Moll is one mouthy broad. I like her.
    I changed Roaring Girl to RoaringGrrl to avoid copyright infringement. And who doesn't want to be a "grrl" with bite, sass, and attitude?