The Roaringgrrl
Roaringgrrl

O Holy Ketchup


Last Christmas, I wrote about my first time being away from my family during the holidays. I vowed to add new traditions to keep things fresh, such as watching The Sopranos on Christmas day and doing donuts with Jacek in his car in the school parking lot at midnight.

This year I’ve found it especially important to keep the tradition of being non-traditional alive. Jacek and I have split up, and for the first time in my life, I find myself alone at ...

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Bridget Jones' Classroom


Just recently, a new colleague in my department experienced every professor’s worst nightmare. She forgot to go to class. On the first day.

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Fraidy Cat


I’m not what you would call a sporty person. I’ve never felt the need to run or jog (except after an ice cream truck or the Schwan’s guy), and the idea of chasing after a ball whether it be volley, foot, base, or basket in nature has never appealed to me.


I do, however, love to swim. When I was 8 or 9, my parents encouraged (read: forced) my brother to stop staring at the television and join our neighborhood swim team. As a tag-a-long little sister, I begged to be included in this ...<< MORE >>

Quirky TV Shows Featuring a Strong Female Lead


With access to high speed internet this summer, I’ve taken to downloading shows and movies. After watching several episodes of Weeds, the title, “Quirky TV Shows Featuring a Strong Female Lead,” appeared in my queue as a genre that Netflix apparently feels is suited to my taste. The title also appropriately describes my summer vacation.


I’ve had a little too much time on my hands. After not being 100% satisfied with certain products, I called a lot of companies to complain. My call to L’Oreal about a greasy face cream ...<< MORE >>

Blue Highways Revisited


In my last column, I discussed my need to get the hell out of dodge so I could shake the anger and misery of a bad school year. I’m not sure going on a cross country road trip was the way to do it. << MORE >>

Mapping


The academic year is over. I have no major complaints. I’m still employed and most of my colleagues are still speaking to me. My night table is stacked with delectable goodies to read, and my TIVO is almost filled to capacity with the past year’s Masterpiece Theatres just waiting for me to submit my final grades.<< MORE >>

Life is Like a Box of Booberry Cereal


When we were growing up, my brother and I weren’t allowed to eat cereal with marshmallows. Every two weeks, Mom would take us to the store, hand us a stack of coupons, and tell us to find cereal that matched the coupons. Shuffling through the stack, I would always pick out Froot Loops, Trix, and Fruity Pebbles, but my brother, ever the cheapo, would make me take the cereal that had the highest dollar savings on its corresponding coupon.


As a result, boxes and boxes of Life cereal traveled through my childhood. Damn you, Mikey!<< MORE >>

Christmas with The Sopranos

This is the first year that I’m spending the holidays away from my family. As I type this, I’m watching the snow fall while listening to Sirius Radio Hanukkah.<< MORE >>

Pep Rallies and Other Places I Don't Belong

A friend once told me that the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result. According to this definition, then, I’m insane.

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My Montana Summer

This was my summer to discover Montana. This state is chock-full of geological marvels like Glacier National Park, Yellowstone National Park, and what are known to me only as “the pretty mountains one passes on the way to shop in Bozeman.” These places attract tourists from the far reaches of the world who hike, bike, and camp through Montana’s natural wonders. I am not one of these people. << MORE >>

The Grand Gesture

I think I watch too many movies. In fact, I’m sure of it.<< MORE >>

Critical Floating

I live in Montana and in the summer, I don’t fish, hunt, hike, or camp. I float. That is, I slather on some sun screen, get into an inner tube, and let the current take me down a river. << MORE >>

What Didn't Happen

In May every year when my students graduate from the university, I am reminded of what didn’t happen for me when I graduated from college. << MORE >>

Waving Day

Just recently in Dillon we enjoyed a day I call Waving Day.<< MORE >>

Valentines Schmalentines

I am not what you would call a romantic person. Sure, I enjoy receiving the occasional bouquet or batch of cookies from Jacek, but for the most part, I’m just happy when he shows up on time with the right movie. In return, I provide for him a comfy couch and a suitable beverage. This give and take really works for us. << MORE >>

Wide Open Spaces

My favorite song by the Dixie Chicks is “Wide Open Spaces.”
Here are a few lyrics:

She needs wide open spaces
Room to make her big mistakes
She needs new faces
She knows the high stakes.<< MORE >>

Have a Heart

For the past week, I’ve been fighting a cold. I hate colds, partly because I don’t understand how it is that scientists have discovered how to make the perfect French fry (beef aroma apparently has something to do with it) but they still haven’t figured out a cure for the common cold and partly because colds are so mundane. I like what my favorite character on Gilmore Girls, Loralei, says: “Having a cold is so boring. Just once I’d like to say, ‘I’m sorry I can’t make it, but my leg is haunted.’” << MORE >>

Share and Share Alike

I’m sure somewhere a file kept on me during kindergarten reads, “Does not share with others.” With shame, I remember a selfish moment of gobbling down a Three Musketeers bar after my mother told me to share it with my friends. In school, whenever we did a group project, I bossed everyone around and took over all the work so that the project would be done “right.”<< MORE >>

The Things We Do For Money, Part 2

This month I became a chestnut, otherwise known as a first time reader for a national testing service. Although I did feel significantly nuttier by the end of the scoring session, I don’t know why they call us chestnuts.

What they should have called us was veal.<< MORE >>

The Things We Do For Money

I’ve been thinking a lot about money lately. Our university’s faculty are part of a union. This year, we’re renegotiating our contract, and our major appeal is for more money.

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